How to Find the Core Self

How to Find the Core Self

core self
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Guest Post by Dominika Romanska

A long time ago, there was a pillar of light and you were born. And then things happened. The world was pressing. The world was challenging. Some challenges were too difficult.

And then they all were born – various parts of you – made of the light, formed into all shapes and sizes. The parts of your personality. They dove into feelings, learned their skills and mastered their roles. Frozen in time, traveling in time, timeless.

The pillar of light, veiled in myriad of layers of what has happened, got quiet.


The moment you get furious when someone says something innocuous, a simple question that appears in your head triggering anxiety and making you feel vulnerable and helpless, someone’s neutral comment that makes you cry and brings the image of a looming disaster, a fragrance which suddenly makes you feel on top of the world – we get hijacked on a regular basis. There are parts that appear more often than the others, some come and go, while some linger for much longer.

Each of the parts is unique. Before we notice that, they are just a kaleidoscope of states and identities, values and needs, desires and worries creating our everyday experience.

When a part hijacks you, making you believe it is you, it is on duty. When you are feeling emotional and your perception of the world changes, you know this part has been awakened. It relives its past experience, ignoring any discrepancies between the reality back then when it came into existence and your situation right now.


Do you know when your parts were born? What brought them into this world, your world? How do they serve you? Why do they haunt you? What do they need?

Every part has its own story. It may tell you about its mission or everything it has gone through and reveal everything about itself, as long as you are willing and ready to listen. It may have a gallery of images to show you and feelings it wants you to know about.


Slow down, acknowledge them, one by one, open to whatever they want to share with you, accept their point of view. Be it a small blob shaking in the wind, a tornado, a pile of broken cups or a sassy teenage version of you – they are all there as a result of something that you may or may not be fully aware of. Speak to them, ask questions, be patient, be kind, and get ready to hear the answers when the time is right.

Take your time, as long as your parts need to emerge, unblend and communicate with you.

Get to know them, understand their mission, as they all are there for you. Some of them may seem powerful, pursuing their mission to protect you. The other ones may be vulnerable and hide away immersed and stuck in the trauma they have experienced. The parts can take any form and use any channel to communicate with you. As they show up, you will understand more and more.

The core self

When the cacophony of voices, images and feelings eases, air gets lighter and the sun shows up. The pillar of light, your core self, welcomes the past, embraces the present, allows the energy to flow and transforms what needs to be transformed. It is the essence of you, in charge of all the parts. Remember this feeling and bring it back whenever you need love, compassion and inner peace.

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