Sitting in the hot tub tonight, something hit me. A massive, healing wave of relief came over me, after days of ruminating about how much I hate people. I hate people. I hate my life. It's been a source of shame for me. Social anxiety. Avoiding people - just wanting to be left alone, period. And then I stay up all night like the worst insomniac - loathing my existence. And then I judge ...
Course in Miracles Lesson 3
I do not understand anything I see ( in this room, out the window, etc .). Again, we simply take a moment or two to look around and say, “I do not understand this pillow. I do not understand this cat. I do not understand this hand.”
Well, I did that. And it helped to heed the advice in the book. The advice? You don’t have to believe it. Just do it.
So I did the friggin’ exercise without needing to believe it and wouldn’t you know what happened? It worked. Worked….I felt that same thing from the very first exercise.
I totally relaxed. It’s like we are meaning-making machines, constantly churning on how to respond and whatever. With this stuff, your mind gets to take a giant break. Nothing means anything anyway. And when we give meaning to things, it’s entirely subjective.
The matter of giving the right meaning becomes less of a burden with this course. I don’t get the sense of not caring what things mean. That would be giving stuff an entirely different meaning.
I’m learning that not knowing is a welcome relief.